• Jeb Bush.

    You gotta feel bad for ol' Jeb. In an ideal world (at least one that's ideal for the conservative world of the Bush clan), Jeb would have been an absolute shoe-in for the GOP nomination, thus continuing a presidential legacy that started with Papa Bush (George H.W.) and continued with big bro George W.

    Instead, poor Jeb became one of several casualties in the face of Trumpmania™ running wild, with each debate devolving into a middle school reality show. And there's The Donald, in rare form, treating Jeb like a weedy little pipsqueak of a nerd by shoving the guy's head into the nearest toilet, slamming him against lockers and generally taking his lunch money every chance he got.

    And why not? The Donald knows what the people really want and what they want to see is The Donald giving these political dorks a high-powered wedgie and a hoist up the ol' flagpole. Which is how our "low energy" nerd wound up being pushed around by a businessman/entertainer who understands how to captivate a crowd fed up with seeing the same old batch of political dorks being their typically dorky selves. Even the one guy who everyone thought was the biggest bully up to that point (Chris Christie) wound up backing out of the 3:00 after-bell fight The Donald had set up during 5th period.

    With Jeb out of the running, The Donald's now free to focus on Canadian exchange student Ted Cruz, whose lunch tray he's been knocking out of his hand while mockingly saying "tough luck, eh?" every time he does it. Meanwhile, Marco Rubio's praying the GOP administrators will step in and slap The Donald with a suspension or at least haul him off to detention for a while. Poor Marco might have the money, but he has neither the muscle nor a mob of onlookers that'll back him up. Stalking around in the background is spoiled rich kid Mikey Bloomberg, whose chances of jumping into a fight with The Donald seem slim. Those two other guys (John Kasich and Ben Carson) are too busy digging out remnants of the last wedgie.

    So let's pay our respects to ol' Jeb!, a guy who would have made a somewhat palatable GOP candidate if Hollywood Trump hadn't brought a folding chair over the poor guy's head.