• Meanwhile...

    - Philly mayor Michael Nutter is pissed. Some young punk barged into a basketball game at the Kingsessing Recreation Center and fired 11 shots into the bleachers, wounding 6 people. The mayor's so pissed that he's taking 20 "G" stacks ($20,000, for the folks in Colorado Springs) from the city's crime reward fund, putting it out there for anyone willing to turn the "little bastard" in.

    The little bastard isn't a 15-year-old misguided "youth." He's around 22, according to the theories about his identity. Not a little bastard, but a bastard just the same.

    - Apple CEO Steve Jobs calls it quits, stepping down from his CEO duties and into a presumably less strenuous board chair position. Given his long-running bout with pancreatic cancer, no one would be surprised if it was the leading factor in him stepping down.

    COO Tim Cook will take over the CEO role, as he's done twice since Jobs' medical issues forced him to step down momentarily. Turns out the guy's a "local" -- Alabama native, Auburn grad.

    - Hewlett-Packard takes a page from IBM's playbook and calls it quits, as far as its line of personal computers are concerned. As a result of shrinking profit margins, HP's spinning off the PC line before the thin black line turns into a sea of red ink. At the same time, the storied company's purchased U.K. software firm Autonomy for $10.25 billion. As it turns out, selling overpriced software is what brings home the bacon these days. (No, that wasn't a pot-shot at anyone, not Adobe or any other company that makes software for graphic designers. Nope, not at all...)

    The only silver lining in this cloud is the story of the HP Touchpad. Ridiculed widely for its $499 price tag, the Web OS-based tablet literally flew off the shelves shortly after it was discontinued and subsequently given a $99 fire sale price tag. Oddly enough, there was another, albeit Android-based tablet making the rounds at the same price point. Unlike the Touchpad, it wasn't particularly well-received, and for good reason.

    When the folks at Best Buy take the piss on your product, you know it's bad.

    - Obama Derangement Syndrome hits its peak. Apparently the man is such a Magic Negro™ that he's supposed to do something about an earthquake.

    How can a man possess such power when at the same time, people are calling him impotent?

    - Teabaggers just being Teabaggers, again:
    Darrel Clark of Farmington said he came for "a chance to see the elusive representative."
    "He needs to get out of politics and make room for an American," Clark said.
    Luján is a lifelong New Mexican. Clark later explained that he meant an "American patriot."
    Sure, buddy. Whatever you say.

    As far as the Teabaggers are concerned, Ray Luján's just another wetback with a "D" next to his name. Too bad it wasn't an "R," as they usually make concessions for the ones they "own"...ahem..."one of their own."

    BTW, to all the folks on the East Coast, from the Carolinas all the way up to New England, stay safe. Hurricane Irene plans on fucking up a lot of couches in the coming days.