• Post-Turkey Day Rundown.

    - Now that Fox News' designated dumb dirty blond Megyn Kelly declared pepper spray a "food product, basically," people all over the country are taking advantage of this new condiment. People like this Wal-Mart shopper who used it to gain an edge over her fellow shoppers on Black Friday:

    Matthew Lopez went to the Wal-Mart in Porter Ranch on Thursday night for the Black Friday sale but instead was caught in a pepper-spray attack by a woman who authorities said was "competitive shopping."

    Lopez described a chaotic scene in the San Fernando Valley store among shoppers looking for video games soon after the sale began.

    "I heard screaming and I heard yelling," said Lopez, 18. "Moments later, my throat stung. I was coughing really bad and watering up."

    This is why I usually stay my ass at home on Black Friday. I'm a patient man -- I usually wait for the after-Christmas sales.

    - And speaking of dirty blondes, here's another L.A. Times article that's rather sympathetic to Kelly's "dumb blonde moment." Oleoresin Capsicum, the stuff most people refer to as "pepper spray," is far stronger than the "habanero juice" Rene Lynch refers to in her op-ed.

    - Steven J. Baum P.C., the firm that brought you the Homeless Halloween party, has now gone under itself. I doubt any of its former employees will be out on the street.

    - Ezra Klein thinks the inglorious failure of the "Super Committee" has left Democrats with a golden opportunity sitting right in their lap:

    So now there are two triggers. One is an extremely progressive spending trigger worth $1.2 trillion that goes off on January 1, 2013. The other is an extremely progressive tax trigger worth $3.8 trillion that goes off on...January 1, 2013. If you count reduced interest payments, the two policies alone would reduce future deficits by about $6 trillion. That's far more than anything the supercommittee came close to discussing. It's distributed far more progressively than anything the Democrats have even considered proposing. And all that needs to happen for it to pass is, well, nothing.

    Meanwhile, David Atkins thinks the president will wimp out and immediately go into "conflict avoidance mode," apparently by brokering some sort of "bipartisan" deal that snatches defeat from the jaws of something resembling victory.

    - AT&T's merger with T-Mobile? Ain't gonna happen, at least for now. Deutsche Telekom still intends to saddle up with someone in the cellular business, but the chances of that being with AT&T are now slim to none.

    - No, no. This is just too silly. Surely something this utterly stupid wouldn't breeze through Congress, would it?

    I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving. All I have to show for mine is a mess of leftover food and a bigger waistline.