• Watch as Ronald Davis tells of his time on the streets of Chicago. As more people find themselves out of work and out of a home, they're left to fend for themselves and struggle on the streets. 

    Most Americans don't understand how close they are to ending up in Ronald's shoes.

  • At least three people were killed and 144 wounded, with 17 in critical condition and 25 in serious condition. An eight-year-old was among the three killed and eight other children were among those hospitalized, according to CNN. Other reports indicated that several wounded had lost limbs because of the attack, a bitter irony considering the day's event.

    So far, there are no suspects, although the peanut gallery is already hard at work assigning blame for this tragedy. I'd rather not and I wish others wouldn't. Let's just try to help those who need it most in this trying time.

    Boston Mayor's Hotline for families of victims: 617-635-4500
    Boston Police line for witnesses who may have information: 800-494-8477
    Google Person Finder
    Red Cross Safe and Well

  • Today, yours truly will take a look at Rick Ross. No, not "Freeway" Rick Ross, infamous L.A.-based drug dealer with possible but not concretely proven CIA connections. I'm talking about William Roberts, the former corrections officer who appropriated Rick Ross's story and image to launch his own commercial rap career.

    I've actually listened to a few of Rick Ross's songs and they come off as the typical formulaic pablum that epitomizes commercial rap music: a few lines of verse about the money you're making, a few more about your material possessions, some mentions about your drug dealing/gangster past and how you still retain the capacity to kill in spite of your current profession, some lines about your sexual prowess and conquests, all topped off with a few shoutouts to your allies in the commercial rap business, packaged to either a machine-generated beat or a "sample" of some 70s/80s/90s R&B or soul tune, slowed down or sped up to invoke "fair use" and avoid royalty payments.

    In normal circumstances, Rick Ross wouldn't interest me. Except he's caught some flak over the lyrics in rapper Rocko's "U.O.E.N.O," an onomatopoeia for “you don’t even know.” Crafty wordsmiths, these folks.

    In particular, these two lines:

    Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it
    I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it

    Uh oh. Did "the Boss" just suggest that he slipped something (most likely MDMA or GHB) in her drink and then had sex with her, presumably while she was unconscious or too drugged up to notice?

    People say it's just lyrics. He probably meant nothing by it. At least that was Rick Ross's argument at first:

    I wanted to come down to the radio station. There is certain things you can’t tweet, you have to verbalize. I want to make sure this is clear, that woman is the most precious gift known to man, you understand? It was a misunderstanding with a lyric, a misinterpretation where the term rape wasn’t used. I would never use the term rape. As far as my camp, hip hop don’t condone that. The streets don’t condone that. Nobody condones that. So I wanted to reach out to all the queens that’s on my timeline, all the sexy ladies, the beautiful ladies that have been reaching out to me with the misunderstanding. We don’t condone rape and I’m not with that.

    It's the type of mea culpa that usually comes in printed or online press releases. If anyone was expecting a heartfelt apology, waiting for it would be akin to waiting for Godot. Or for the next C-Tran bus at Southlake Mall.

    Unlike that severely-underfunded and ultimately axed bus service, the criticism kept coming. As Talib Kweli and others took Ricky to the woodshed over his lyrics and as Ultraviolet started a concerted effort to shorn the rapper of his promotional deal with Reebok, Ross issued two more relatively weak appeals to his critics and fans:



    His fans will forgive him. Chances are they're only upset at everyone else being so hard on Ricky. To understand why, it means realizing how Rick Ross's lyrics (and those of other rappers) are both a reflection and a product of the culture that enables and glorifies the activity described by those lyrics. It's an echo chamber that amplifies itself many times over, with little to no opportunity for any positive message to break the cycle. Not that the people who are actually making money off of this stuff (music executives and their shareholders) mind - it'd probably be bad business to interrupt the cycle.

    But interrupt someone must. These lyrics reflect and reinforce a rape culture that promotes an overall view of women as sex objects who are duty-bound to either "give up the pussy" or have it taken, whether by fraud, deception or force. These sentiments echo throughout the rap subculture, to be internalized by fans who live vicariously through the imaginative storytelling of each song or through observing and emulating the actions of rappers and others around them.

    In the end, Rick Ross's apologies don't mean much. When things die down as they usually do in today's world of accelerated media cycles, he'll go back to doing the same thing he's been doing and get rewarded handsomely for it. At worst, he might lose his deal with Reebok, but that'll probably be it. Dismantling rape culture won't happen from the top, at least not solely on backhanding rappers who step over the line. On this issue, the line's been crossed hundreds of miles ago.

    Whenever the question of how to end rape culture comes about, solutions are always expected to be brought forth and put into play by the womenfolk. That's over and done, as it should have been a long time ago. Asking women to continuously shoulder the burden of preventing rape and blaming them when it happens while giving men implied card blanche on the issue is something that should end, posthaste.

    In other words, the beginning of the end of rape culture will happen once us menfolk finally understand and internalize one thing and one thing only: don't rape.

    Translation: the pussy is not yours to take.

    P.S. If you have kids, don't let them consume commercial rap in their formative years. Yours truly spent most of his childhood blissfully unaware of rap while being exposed to copious amounts of jazz, R&B, soul and soft rock. The impact it made on my growing up was drastically different than the kids next door, who were basically given free rein to listen to commercial rap.
  • Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

    James 3:5, King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)

    Right about now, Alabama State Rep. Joe Mitchell of Mobile probably wishes he had exercised a bit of decorum, now that a comment of his has turned into kindling for opportunistic GOPers and the idiot masses. So what happened? I'll leave that to Redeye:

    Let's recap. Retired coal miner and Jefferson County resident Eddie Maxwell sent a mass email to all Alabama Legislators "warning them that even attempting to introduce a gun control bill was, in his opinion, a violation of state law." Oh really?

    Instead of ignoring Maxwell's email, or, sending out the standard thank your for contacting my office blah, blah, blab, blab auto reply, Rep. Mitchell chose to respond in the following manner;

    "Your folk never used all this sheit (sic) to protect my folk from your slave-holding, murdering, adulterous, baby-raping, incestuous, snaggle-toothed, backward-a**ed, inbreed (sic), imported criminal-minded kin folk."

    He's speaking truth to power, no matter how many people would admit otherwise. Lots of people would dismiss the above as a wild, crazy outburst from a race card-waving black guy who needs to sit hisself down somewheres. But Rep. Mitchell's entitled to be as pissed as he wants - as far as I'm concerned, given the history of the Great State of Alabama and elsewhere in the Deep South and its collective track record for racial discrimination and wanton violence, he's earned that right and then some.

    However, in an age where saying the wrong things could have a team of Breitbart's best ratfuckers gnaw through your image and reputation like field mice through Australian farmland, something like the above could cost you dearly. I imagine Rep. Mitchell's from the old school, where he's never had to deal with that kind of crap. Until now. He's already being cast as "eccentric," which is about a step and a half away from "crazy" and two from "insane."

    Already is his outburst being equated with that of State Senator Scott Beason's "aborigine" remarks. Just part and parcel of the ongoing drive to prove that blacks can be just as racist as white folk. For a brief moment, whites can take refuge from the burning spotlight and show those blacks how it feels to be under scrutiny for racism, for once.

    Saying the wrong things at the wrong time has its consequences, as an unnamed commissioner and then-manager Thomas Andrews of the Fulton County Department of Human Services shortly realized during a discrimination lawsuit launched by a former employee. Having fellow colleagues say that there were "too many white boys" on the staff was one of the things that cinched a settlement for the white ex-employee.

    I doubt Rep. Mitchell will step down from his position, although state GOPers wouldn't mind one bit if he does. Just another slot for the Grand Old Party to slide a conservative candidate into. I also doubt his constituents would throw him under the bus like his own party is doing. It seems the Alabama Democratic Party is doing more than its fair share to ensure that Alabama remains a defacto one-party state under GOP dominance for decades to come.

    H/T to Redeye for his continuing reports on the shenanigans going down back in my home state.


  • The above is a collaboration between country-pop singer Brad Paisley and noted R&B/hip-hop artist LL Cool J. Take a moment and listen to the lyrics. If you happen to be of the corn-fed good-ol-boy persuasion, try your best not to shut it off as soon as LL Cool J's vocals appear.


    For those not familiar with American history, the above is the Battle Flag of the Army of Northern Virginia, as used by the primary force of the Confederate States of America. As it became increasingly well-known as the rallying visual of the Confederacy, the red, white and blue heraldic saltire found its way on the second national flag of the CSA sometime around 1863.

    For generations after the end of the American Civil War, the battle flag evolved into a versatile symbol for many people. For many, it's the symbol of proud southern heritage. For some, a soothing balm to lessen the historical sting of defeat (i.e. "The South Shall Rise Again"). For others, it's a reminder of the Confederacy's failure as a splinter nation and an encapsulation of the odious practices that went on even before the idea of a confederacy was ever broached. It's also been used as a symbol of rebellion and defiance - take note of Georgia's addition of the saltire to the state flag in 1956 as a "fuck you" response towards Brown vs. Board of Education, for instance.

    For black Americans, it's a symbol of white society's disdain and utter hatred of blacks under any capacity other than bonded labor and occasional entertainment. Throughout the Southeast U.S. and even points further north, the battle flag's been the rallying brand of people and groups dedicated to curtailing and exterminating the rights of black citizens, from the Ku Klux Klan to the seemingly innocuous and benign "concerned citizens" groups.

    To many black Americans, the battle flag is akin to the old "Whites Only" signs of the Jim Crow era - wherever one's flown, hung, printed or posted, it's simply means one thing and one thing only to most blacks: "You're not welcome here."

    That's what "Accidental Racist" is all about - a white guy who wants to show off his southern pride but winds up representing all the ills that come with his choice of symbol. At the risk of "Godwin"-ing this blog post, I'll just say that outside of underground hate groups you won't hear of anyone belting a polemic tome bemoaning the stigma of the Nazi flag when they were only trying to show off their National Socialist pride. He bemoans how people see him whenever he decides to embrace the battle flag of the Confederacy as a symbol for southern pride.

    Later in the song comes LL Cool J to not only compare Brad Paisley's suffering of stereotypes to his own, but also to beg "Mr. White Man" to overlook his appearance, disregard stereotypes and see LL for LL himself, similar to what Paisley's asking of his listeners. Speaking of LL's vocals, here are his main verses, courtesy of Sharon W.:

    Dear Mr. White Man, I wish you understood
    What the world is really like when you're livin' in the hood
    Just because my pants are saggin' doesn't mean I'm up to no good
    You should try to get to know me, I really wish you would
    Now my chains are gold but I'm still misunderstood
    I wasn't there when Sherman's March turned the south into firewood
    I want you to get paid but be a slave I never could
    Feel like a new fangled Django, dodgin' invisible white hoods
    So when I see that white cowboy hat, I'm thinkin' it's not all good
    I guess we're both guilty of judgin' the cover not the book
    I'd love to buy you a beer, conversate and clear the air
    But I see that red flag and I think you wish I wasn't here

    "Dear Mr. White Man, I wish you understood." That's LL's refrain.

    Truth be told, most black Americans have little to no desire to understand their white counterparts' wish to embrace a symbol representing some of the worst excesses of racial antagonism, violence and discrimination, just as Mr. White Man has little to no desire to understand his black counterparts in any way, shape or form that doesn't comply with their own idea of black Americans.

    "I guess we're both guilty of judgin' the cover not the book." Doo-rags, gold chains, sagging pants, oversized white T-shirts and expensive designer athletic shoes are attire that's usually associated with "Ghetto culture" and criminal behavior, as far as the majority of white Americans are concerned. Most whites become distinctly uncomfortable upon seeing a black male dressed this way.

    Likewise, most blacks become distinctly uncomfortable upon seeing a white male sporting anything with the battle flag on it, thanks in large part to what that symbol represents to them. They have no way of discerning the wearer's true intentions for donning it, nor can they simply take them at their word if they directly ask why they chose to don it. Weary, suspicious looks and a desire for avoidance are a given for both scenarios.

    Sadly, "Accidental Racist" goes a ways to equate doo-rags and sagging pants as equal to Confederate imagery, which they aren't, no matter how many black-on-white or black-on-black crime stats anyone throws at the argument to make it stick. Contrary to what today's media and what most white Americans would suggest, there's no black analogue to the Ku Klux Klan. And for those wondering, the Black Panthers and other radical black groups come nowhere close to the Klan's historical track record for violence against blacks and other minorities. LL Cool J punts the ball by claiming a variation of "Both Sides Do It," equating black urban dress to one's embrace of the battle flag. Gold chains do not equal iron chains, LL.

    Personally speaking, I wouldn't have minded if the Union made a more concerted effort to disinfect the South and the U.S. as a whole of Confederacy instead of letting bygones be bygones, similar to how it was impressed upon the German government to disinfect the country of Nazism. I genuinely believe Reconstruction was America's last chance to settle the issue of race, namely by honoring its commitment towards freedom and equality when it came to black Americans. By not grabbing the bull by the horns when we had the chance, we have to accept feel-good pablum like "Accidental Racist" that does little to nothing when it comes to confronting racial animosity.

    But hey, at least Brad and LL are shoo-ins for a Grammy nomination or two, right?

    EDIT: After this, I looked at other responses to "Accidental Racist." Here's a decidedly non-diplomatic take from Illuminati Zozo:

    You know what the most fucked up thing about “Accidental Racist” is?

    It’s how fucking one-sided it is

    It puts the blame for a white man sporting a Confederate Flag as being racist squarely on the shoulders of black people for perceiving it that way instead of “letting go of history”

    instead of actually soul-search (well, we know white people don’t have souls, but whatevs) and choosing to relinquish imagery that everyone has a god damn right to judge someone for rocking.

    Even worse is LL Cool J’s coonery on that track.

    We, as black people, don’t need to apologize for gold chains, du-rags or saggy pants - white people were the ones who arbitrarily decided that shit was bad as a way to demonize. White people are the ones who created a cultural climate where a god damn fucking teenager wearing a hoodie gets hunted down like a dog in the night and fucking MURDERED.

    You know who decided the confederate flag was a bad thing? Fucking white people when they decided to fly that shit as they demanded their right to keep slaves. Fucking history teaches us to abhor those symbols.

    If that wasn't enough, then I don't know what else to tell ya.

  • Former Prime Minister Baroness Thatcher has died "peacefully" at the age of 87 after suffering a stroke while staying at the Ritz hotel in central London.

    David Cameron called her a "great Briton" and the Queen spoke of her sadness at the death.

    Lady Thatcher was Conservative prime minister from 1979 to 1990. She was the first woman to hold the role.

    She will not have a state funeral but will be accorded the same status as Princess Diana and the Queen Mother.

    The ceremony, with full military honours, will take place at London's St Paul's Cathedral.

    The union jack above Number 10 Downing Street has been lowered to half-mast while Parliament will be recalled from its Easter recess on Wednesday to enable MPs to pay tributes to the former prime minister.

    The "Iron Lady" was by no means a nice person. Her drive to place government under the aegis of private industry, smother union labor and her support of the Apartheid-era South African and Pinochet-era Chilean governments puts her in the doghouse, for all intents. Unfortunately, Brits will now have the pleasure of seeing her legacy rewritten in the same way as done for conservative America's dearly sainted Ronald Reagan.

    Still, that doesn't mean anyone has the right to call her the C-word.
  • Just as I finished writing "The True Reasons Why Conservatives Are Against Gay Marriage," I found out Bill Schmalfeldt, the man behind the Daily Kos article referenced therein, was banned from the blogging network days after writing his article. As I mentioned at the end, it didn't sit well with a lot of Kos commentators and Schmalfeldt wound up with worse for wear because of it.

    It got to the point where Daily Kos readers were actively calling for Schmalfeldt to issue a mea culpa and delete his diary post. Instead of a mea culpa, Schmalfeldt wrote another post that politely told anyone who was offended where they could go, for all intents and purposes.

    Was Schmalfeldt's piece offensive? Yours truly didn't think it was, but then again, I'm a guy with an eye towards biting sarcasm and satire. I saw the vast majority of the piece as dripping with sarcasm, especially when it came to the following:

    Heck, if you're a man and you're honest with yourself, you LIKE being on the "doling it out" end of anal sex. How many heterosexual men reading this diary right now have never asked their wife or girlfriend to just take a deep breath, relax, "I'll just put in the tip and we'll see how it goes," and then you ram it home like Captain Kidd jamming his sword back into his scabbard while she hollers "takeitouttakeitouttakeitout" and you tell her to just relax and it won't hurt so bad and she starts kicking and screaming "takeitOUTtakeitOUTtakeitOUT youfuckingbastardpieceofshit" and you finally do (because the walls are thin and your neighbors just LOVE calling the cops) and you tell her she should have at least given herself a chance to relax and enjoy it and she (if she's your wife) doesn't let you anywhere near her with "that thing" for weeks and if she's your girlfriend she stops returning your calls?

    Some people thought Schmalfeldt was being callous and juvenile. Others thought he actually condoned rough, non-consensual sex, gay or straight. A few commentators pointed out what they thought to be "rape language" and took Schmalfeldt to task. Two commentators who were rape survivors were "triggered" by the prostate exam illustration (yes, the same one that was also posted in "The True Reasons Why Conservatives Are Against Gay Marriage.") The criticism bordered on vitriolic and borderline-slanderous, so much so that one commentator chimed in, worried that defending Schmalfeldt would get him banned from Daily Kos.

    I wanted to get some background on the whole thing and find out what Schmalfeldt was all about. Instead, I ran into what reads as a gloat piece from Robert Stacy McCain's blog:

    Schmalfeldt created that Photoshop of Palin bleeding with a stake through her forehead to illustrate a post he wrote under his “Bill Matthews” alias at the Examiner, a deceit he perpetrated after his harassment of fellow Examiner contributors got Schmalfeldt axed as the “Liberal in Baltimore” columnist at the Examiner. He returned as “Bill Matthews” of Wisconsin (despite being a Maryland resident not named Matthews) and kept up that charade until getting banned permanently from the Examiner in August.

    Photoshopped images of Republicans spattered in blood is a favorite theme with Schmalfeldt, as shown by an image of Allen West he created to illustrate a May post at Daily Kos.
    So much for the Schmalfeldt “image integrity” lecture, eh? My apologies for using “Schmalfeldt” and “integrity” in the same sentence.

    Schmalfeldt is forever burning bridges behind him as he careens from disaster to disaster caused by his antisocial personality. He never accepts responsibility for his failures, always externalizing blame onto his scapegoated enemies. The classic example of this was when Schmalfeldt, clumsily attempting to smear “homophobic” conservatives, published a May 18 Daily Kos diary about anal sex.

    Go ahead and click that link. Double-dog dare ya.

    To say that Schmalfeldt’s graphic discussion of what he called “the Butt Stuff” was obscene and offensive is to understate the matter. Perhaps the most adequate description is “Too Disgusting for Daily Kos,” which is really saying something.

    And another from Lee Stranahan:

    R.S. McCain has been putting the career of Bill Schmalfeldt into proper perspective over at The Other McCain and it felt it was time to highlight another aspect of Schmalfeldt’s work and personality.

    Bill Schmalfeldt is disgusting.

    That sounds like a petty insult. It’s not. In the case of Mr. Schmalfeldt, it’s true and very specific. He is intentionally sickeningly repulsive and his writings show a sexual obsession that is profoundly disturbing.

    I’m not a prude. I’m not easily offended. This isn’t even a liberal / conservative thing. Bill Schmalfeldt actually managed to offend the readers at the Daily Kos so much that he was essentially run off the website back in May of this year in an article entitled The REAL Conservative Case Against Gay Marriage.

    Say, where have we heard that name before? Last mention of Stranahan on DDSS was on the "SWAT-Gate" post, where he played a rather significant role alongside Brandon Darby in their complex hit job of political activist and infamous "Speedway Bomber" Brett Kimberlin. These days, the former liberal-turned-conservative feathers his bed over at Breitbart.

    After wading through various posts from McCain, Stranahan, Schmalfeldt himself and Matt Osborne, what I found was...a mess. Stranahan claims he's been stalked and harassed by Schmalfeldt, McCain piles on in defense of Stranahan and Schmalfeldt attacks Stranahan by bringing up countless unsavory aspects of his life before touching the helm of St. Andrew's stained garment.

    There's little point in trying to sort this shit out except for my own general amusement, so I'll save others the drama and stop here. In short, I thought the criticism aimed at Schmalfeldt's article back at Daily Kos was overdone and borderline malicious. I also thought Schmalfeldt's banishment from Daily Kos was a bit heavy-handed, as well. In a way, it makes me glad to have my own blog, where I don't have to worry about being shut out after posting material that others find controversial.
  • "I hear all the time the expression 'the good old days'," Leon said. "Well, the good old days, we forget they have been good for some, but they weren't good for everybody.

    "You can't go back, you can't live in the past," he added. "It drives me crazy when the captains of the religious right are always calling people back...for Blacks to be back in the back of the bus, for women to be back in the kitchen, for gays to be in the closet and for immigrants to be on their side of the border."

    "What you and I understand," Leon said, "is that when Jesus says, 'You can't hang onto me,' he says, 'You know it's not about the past, it's not about the before, it's not about the way things were, but about the way things can be in the now.'"

    The above comes from a sermon delivered by Dr. Luis Leon at St. John's Episcopal Church on Easter Sunday. It just so happened that the president and First Family were in attendance. You can see where this is going.

    Predictably, folks on the right aren't taking Dr. Leon's moment of "real talk" too well - in fact, they're having flashbacks of Dr. Jeremiah Wright's infamous sermon and they're looking forward to seeing the president toss the good pastor under the bus in the same manner. I doubt that'll happen, but you can count on conservatives grinding their axes on this particular stone for the next few months. And you can count on CNN, NPR and other mainstream outlets politely tut-tut the president for encouraging this sort of thing.

    Look beyond the consternation and manufactured outrage and you'll see a blinding, glaring truth that very few want to acknowledge or embrace:

    "You can't go back, you can't live in the past," he added. "It drives me crazy when the captains of the religious right are always calling people back...for Blacks to be back in the back of the bus, for women to be back in the kitchen, for gays to be in the closet and for immigrants to be on their side of the border."

    Which is what conservatives have been asking for all along, only in various ways that easily pass muster in a polite society where blatant talk is absolutely unacceptable. If it isn't curtailing women's rights by leaving their reproductive faculties under the control of state legislatures via abortion and birth control bans, then its putting an end to GLBT rights, same-sex marriages and fair treatment of illegal immigrants. I won't even mention the designs these folks have for black Americans - needless to say, it ain't pretty.

    Thing is, conservatives absolutely hate it when these things are put out in the open. They hate it even more when they get called out on it. Some folks even resort to unabashed projection - anointed conservative mouthpiece Rush Limbaugh called the president "a racist" who "promotes racist behavior whenever he can" and "inspires racism":

    “Obama’s presence inspires this guy to go all divisive, all racist. And start jamming on the Republicans for wanting blacks in the back of the bus, women back in the kitchen, when he can’t name a single person who does.”

    I think he means the president can't name a single Person That Matters™ who's stupid enough to openly ask for these things - that's something you'd do only via dog whistles and codewords.

    Truth isn't something that can be borne lightly; some people can't stand to bear it at all. Nevertheless, offering truth at every opportunity is the key to changing society for the better. If that means conservatives and their mouthpieces catch the vapors over it, then so be it.

    By the way, the president looked rather dapper on this Sunday outing.
  • Bill Schmalfeldt of Daily Kos penned an article about why Conservatives take a remarkable dislike to gay marriage, which itself was a response to Larry A. Herzberg's piece at Little Green Footballs. Herzberg starts out by pondering the religious aspect of conservative objection to gay marriage and goes from there, eventually coming to the following:

    Could this be the correct explanation of the fear? Could it be that conservatives (subconsciously?) believe that if same-sex marriage were to become more accepted and hence more common, heterosexuals would actually begin converting their sexual orientation? Could conservatives really (subconsciously?) believe that gay sex is so much better than straight sex, or that switching one’s sexual preference is, at least for most people, as easy as switching brands? It sounds silly, but you do often hear conservatives fantasizing about gay folks - especially teachers - “recruiting” children who would otherwise be straight, as if changing or determining someone’s sexual orientation - even a child’s - were as easy as giving them the right sales pitch!

    The whole "homosexuals = pedophiles" theme was popular among conservatives back in the day, despite how utterly absurd it was to tie pedophilia with sexual orientation. I have a feeling that theme indulged in their idea of homosexuality, which was along the Greco-Roman lines of elder Senators enjoying a bathhouse romp with their catamite companions.

    Herzberg comes close, but it takes Schmalfeldt to get a step closer to what's really tweaking conservatives about gay marriage. Schmalfeldt starts by exploring how conservatives have no problem with certain sexual acts, just as long as it's kept within the confines of smoking-hot fantasy lesbianism (and there always has to be an opening for the menfolk to jump in and turn it into a threesome) and the "giving" end of anal sex (with women, mind you).*

    So finally, Schmalfeldt hits on his two reasons why conservatives dread "teh gey": either it's because conservatives have repressed their true sexual leanings for so long that they tend to explode in illicit toe-tapping sessions in airport bathroom stalls or because they assume that since homosexuals likely have as much trouble as they do when it comes to keeping their sexual drive in check, they'd just as gladly hunt down some prime straight virgin man-meat:

    THAT is the problem with gay marriage. It's not the fact that it's same sex have sex with the same sex (as long as it's only women). It's not that anal sex is disgusting, because who hasn't tried to get away with it at least once in a heterosexual relationship (sorry, honey... I missed!) or that we find oral sex to be immoral and de facto sodomy (which we don't even when we say we do).

    The bottom line (giggle) is that stupid straight people are scared that rampaging hoards of GAYS are going to ATTACK THEM and FORCE THEIR wing wangs up their pooter holes and OBAMA SAYS IT'S OK NOW!

    Close, but no cigar. Not THAT cigar, damnit.**

    Let's back it up to a following passage that got my attention. At least it was one of the things that led to a sort of "Eureka!" moment:

    2. You are ignorant heterosexual who -- because YOU would gladly fuck a warm piece of liver if no one was looking -- believes that all gay men will find YOU attractive and want to force their sexual attentions on YOU! Men over 40 don't even like going to the doctor because they know the doc will stick a well-lubricated, gloved finger "up there." The idea of being run to ground by hoards of pantless gay men with their throbbing manhoods acting like divining wands in the search for "virgin ass" terrifies you.

    Schmalfeldt was right there...and he walked right past the door. Let's back up by isolating one key sentence from the above:

    Men over 40 don't even like going to the doctor because they know the doc will stick a well-lubricated, gloved finger "up there."

    Why not? Here's the second piece to that puzzle that helped put everything in perspective:



  • Sometime this month, the Bush Center will unveil the George W. Bush Institute in Dallas, a presidential library built and named in honor of...George W. Bush. As evinced by this video and article, Al Sharpton is none-too-happy with the Institute's stated goals:

    According to the library’s official website, it will be ”a results-oriented institute that will have an effect on our country and, we think, on the world,” focusing on areas including economic growth, human freedom, and education reform. But it’s tough to say what results can be gleaned from the legacy of the president who turned a budget surplus into a deficit, left us into a major recession, permitted the use of “enhanced interrogation” techniques, and instituted the “No Child Left Behind” education policy that is widely criticized even by Republicans today.

    But Bush has a plan to distract everyone from the more negative aspects of his legacy. As one Bush acquaintance told the National Journal, “He’s convinced his achievement in keeping the country safe after 9/11 will get the attention it deserves as the years roll on,” which is why the library’s signature exhibit will be “a 17-foot, two-ton twisted piece of steel from the World Trade Center.” (It’s a strange quirk of historical memory–almost a form of intellectual jujitsu–that Bush has successfully branded himself as the leader who kept us safe, when in fact he’s the president who disregarded an August 2001 memo warning that Osama bin Laden was planning an attack on America.)
    It's not out of the ordinary to see former leaders burnish their public image after they've left office. Nevertheless, it will be entertaining to see how a former leader who managed to cock things up so badly around the world manage to rehabilitate his image in the world's eyes, considering the crushing weight of evidence that will forever attest to his true actions and behavior in office.

    Then again, there's a chance that the Bush Center will be able to do just that, if only for certain media outlets that'd rather imbibe in copious amounts of false equivalence and civility for civility's sake, even if it means ignoring all of the less-savory aspects of the 43rd president's tenure.
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